There is often a difference in perception about mental health between generations. Many members of older generations, who were not raised openly discussing mental health challenges, have difficulty communicating about these issues. They may have internalized stigmas, or simply not know the vocabulary to use. Younger generations are generally more open about these challenges, which can sometimes create a disjunct in conversations between parents and their children. Maybe you have experienced this, or know someone who has. This article will help walk you through some considerations when talking to parents about mental health struggles.
The Importance of Family Support
It is essential for those struggling with mental health to have the support of their family and loved ones. Meaningful support in someone’s mental health journey can be a major catalyst towards recovery and overall improvement in mental well-being. Through gaining an understanding about the generational gap, proper preparation, and employing effective communication strategies, one can better set themself for success in these difficult conversations, and then figure out how to move forward together.
Whether you need a psychiatric evaluation to prepare for these conversations or telepsych services after you decide on a plan of action with your family, Advantage Mental Health helps support both you and your family throughout this important journey.
Understanding Generational Differences
One of the greatest difficulties in having productive conversations about mental health with parents is different generational perspectives. For many older adults, mental health can sometimes be surrounded by stigmas that lead to silence. This may have just been the way they were raised. Some approach psychological struggles as personal weaknesses to overcome through willpower alone. There are unfortunately common misconceptions still held by some parents such as depression is just sadness, anxiety is just the result of being “too sensitive,” or that therapy or psychiatry is only for people with severe mental illness.
Of course, today’s understanding has evolved. We now recognize that conditions like depression and anxiety are legitimate medical issues affecting many people, and that they can be treated to good effect. Seeking help is not only acceptable, but must be encouraged. This is a stark contrast to how these topics were handled just a generation ago.
Communication styles may differ as well. While younger generations may be comfortable openly and directly engaging these topics, many parents may be flippant or lacking the proper vocabulary that would create a productive conversation. Cultural and family backgrounds may further influence these divides, with some families prioritizing stoicism over emotional expression.
When you first approach your parents about mental health, it’s possible that their initial reaction will be centered around purely “practical” solutions. Common responses might be: “Have you tried exercising more?” or “You just need to get out of the house.” Other responses might stem from worry and denial, like “You seem fine to me!” You can view these responses as reflecting their own generational training to fix problems quickly rather than sitting with you and working through emotional complexity. Understanding this can help you approach the conversation with more patience and more realistic expectations.
Preparing for the Conversation
A successful discussion about mental health with your parents will require a little bit of thoughtful preparation beforehand. Start by choosing the right time and setting for this important conversation. Find a private environment, where you will all be comfortable and where you won’t be interrupted. Timing is crucial, as well: steer clear of stressful periods for your parents, like if they have work deadlines, family conflicts, or major life changes happening. Consider your parents’ emotional state and availability, and if you can, choose a moment when they’re relaxed and able to give you their full attention. Of course, finding the perfect time isn’t always possible. Don’t worry if the absolute perfect conditions don’t present themselves. The most important thing is opening the lines of communication.
Planning your approach requires some honest self-reflection, as well. You should ask yourself what you want to accomplish. Decide what specific information you’re comfortable sharing right away—and remember that you don’t need to reveal everything at once. Prepare for various reactions. Some parents might want to help immediately and let you lead the way, concerned ones may ask many questions, while dismissive responses might require patience and follow-up conversations, but that doesn’t mean you should quit.
Think about a few concrete examples of how your mental health affects your daily life. Rather than saying “I’m depressed,” explain “I’ve been struggling to get out of bed in the mornings and my grades are suffering.” Consider researching basic information about your condition as you understand it, so that you might share some expert information. This preparation helps you stay focused during what might be an emotional conversation and also demonstrates to your parents that you’re taking your mental well-being seriously.
Effective Communication Strategies
It is important to consider how you present your mental health concerns. The way you express yourself in these conversations may significantly shape the response. For example, using “I” statements can help to create a non-confrontational atmosphere, and may prevent your parents from feeling defensive. This will also keep the conversation on track and focused on your experience, not any perceived parental shortcomings. If it feels necessary and suitable, you can assure your parents it is not their fault.
Try to be specific when describing your challenges. Share examples about how your mental health is impacting your school, work, and relationships. This gives parents important real-life context. It also takes the conversation beyond abstract emotional concepts.
Finally, it is important that you try to clearly communicate your specific hopes and needs. Let them know clearly whether you want advice, emotional support, or simply their patience and understanding. Offering concrete steps about how they can help can be valuable. “I’d appreciate it if you could drive me to appointments” or “It would help if you checked in with me weekly without judgment.” Clear expectations will hopefully lead to everyone being on the same page, and help your parents provide meaningful support.
How Advantage Mental Health Can Support You and Your Family
The good news is that once you make this conversational connection with your parents, together you can decide on a plan of action, and take steps towards healing and improving your mental well-being.
Treatment Options for Young People at Advantage Mental Health
Psychiatry: Psychiatry can help young people process complex emotions in a supportive environment. Receiving a thorough and support evaluation along with a personalized plan of care can help set you up for success on your mental health journey
Medication: Medication may provide safe, effective relief when prescribed appropriately. Advantage Mental Health providers carefully evaluate each young person’s needs to determine the best possible solutions.
TMS Therapy (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation): Advantage Mental Health offers this innovative, medication-free depression treatment. TMS uses magnetic pulsing to stimulate mood-regulating areas of the brain. This non-invasive therapy has helped many young people who haven’t responded to more traditional treatments.
Having Positive Conversations With Your Parents About Mental Health
Take that first brave step toward healing by having this important conversation—and discover your path to mental balance and well-being. Help is right around the corner.
If a psychiatry practice could help you better navigate your mental health and communication with your parents, contact us to request an appointment, and we can answer any questions you may have as well.
Sources:
Body scan meditation. (n.d.). https://meditofoundation.org/meditations/body-scan-meditation
Burnett Heyes S, Pictet A, Mitchell H, Raeder SM, Lau JYF, Holmes EA, Blackwell SE. Mental Imagery-Based Training to Modify Mood and Cognitive Bias in Adolescents: Effects of Valence and Perspective. Cognit Ther Res. 2017;41(1):73-88. doi: 10.1007/s10608-016-9795-8. Epub 2016 Aug 8. PMID: 28239214; PMCID: PMC5306169. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5306169/